Songs that Shouldn't Be.

Hello everyone. Owing to the fact that the Grammy's were last Sunday, tonight I wanted to compile a list of popular songs that I don't think should be popular. Some shouldn't even exist. So, buckle up. This is going to be a fun one.

*Disclaimer: This is completely my opinion. The great thing about music (and basically life in general) is that we can like different things and still get along, right? Right.*

10. Nicki Minaj- "Starships"

Every Nicki Minaj song is the same. Start with some strange, alien-like sounds. Add in the same worn out party beat. Next comes the lyrics which, although people insist that they are in English, sound like they're just discordant noises. And she delivers them in a way that tiptoes the line between angry and scary.

One nice thing about this song is that you can make it into a drinking game. Every time she says, "We're higher than a motherfucker," take a shot. You'll be drunk in no time, and you won't care what song is on the radio.

9. Flo Rida- "Whistle"

"Girl, I'm gonna show you how to do it, and we start real slow. You just put your lips together and come real close. Can you blow my whistle, baby?"

I see what you did there. Clever Mr. Rida.

You would think that someone capable of passing off that garbage as a metaphor would be able to spell his own name right, but I guess not.

8. Anything by Ke$ha.

How anyone tuned into her music and decided that she should be on the radio, I will never know. You can practically taste the auto tune.

Plus, she is just really bad at grammar. Newsflash Ke$ha, "imma" isn't a word.

Although, I do like how $he $pell$ her name. I think imma do it. $tarting now.

7. Rhianna- "Umbrella"

This song is annoying.

If I were to write about the rainy weather yesterday, and I said I brought my umbrella, -ella-, -ella, -eh, -eh, -eh you would think I had had a seizure and passed out on my keyboard.

6.  Basically anything by Taylor Swift

This girl gets under my skin.

To prove my point, we'll play a game. Quick, think of any Taylor Swift song. Got it?

Okay, I bet I can guess what it is about. It is either about her falling in love with her prince charming, or it's about her breaking up with another douchebag who was supposed to be her prince charming.

Just stop Taylor. I'm begging you.

5. One Direction- "Best Song Ever" OR "You Don't Know You're Beautiful"

If someone ever asks you what irony means, point them to the first song.

Also, the beginning sounds oddly familiar. I wonder WHO it sounds like. WHO could have written such an entrancing opening to a song? (Hint: Go listen to Baba O'Riley)

 The second one gets on my nerves because, underneath that lovey-dovey, cutesy-tootsie, pop surface is a song that is preaching the wrong message.

"You don't know (OH, OH), you don't know you're beautiful (OH, OH). That's what makes you beautiful."

Wait. Let me get this straight. The girl in the song is considered beautiful for being insecure. It's no wonder we have had a hard time convincing girls to have confidence. I understand that being modest is a good thing, but I think these teenyboppers take it a step too far.

4. Miley Cyrus- "We Can't Stop"

This song is haunted by the old adage, "No publicity is bad publicity," and, unfortunately, it twerked for Miley. Get it? Twerked. Because of her VMA performance. No? All right, I'm done.

She also makes out with a doll of herself in the music video.

Creepy.

3. Bruno Mars- "Gorilla"

Because nothing is more sexy than imagining two gorillas having sex?

2. Pitbull- "Timber"

NO MORE! I WON'T LISTEN TO IT AGAIN!

1. Robin Thicke- "Blurred Lines"

If you have ever talked to me about music, then you have probably had to bear the brunt of this rant already. If you fall into that category, feel free to skip over it.

How this song shot to the top of the charts so quickly, I don't want to know. It is misogynistic. It is revolting. It is … I don't even think I have enough adjectives in my vocabulary to adequately describe my hate for this song.

For one, the music video is a bunch of naked women dancing around.

But, the song itself is too rapey for people to just ignore the lyrics.

"Ok, now he was close, tried to domesticate you. But you're an animal, baby, it's in your nature. Just let me liberate you. And that's why I'm gonna take a good girl. I know you want it. I know you want it. I know you want it." He goes on to say, "I hate these blurred lines."

Come on people. It terrifies me that this song is popular.

Alright, I'm done complaining. I hope you enjoyed my list.

Goodnight.